On The Grave
by Dark Blaze1
Summary: The war is over, Duo has died, and Heero is left alone with his memory.


Title: On The Grave  
  
By Dark Blaze  
  
Pairing: 1+2  
  
Warning: songfic, shonen-ai, death, angst, supernatural, suicidal attempt  
  
Special Notes: The fic is inspired by "Will You Wait for Me" by Kavana, and by Kirei's beautiful (if sad) fanart, which can be found at:  
  
http://kikotei_dhml.tripod.com/images/12copy.jpg  
  
  
  
He wakes up on the double bed to smell the faint scents of rain and apple coming from the long strands of hair spreading on top of the bedsheets, and he turns around to watch an elfin face still in a peaceful sleep.  
  
Thick, soft lashes slowly flutter against smooth cheeks, and the eyelids drift open to reveal soft, sleepy violet. The wide lips languidly curve into the warm smile of a lover before they lazily part to form a greeting... But the soft lines of the lithe body are fading too fast, and the ghost born out of memory disappears.  
  
His eyes fall closed as his reply to the unsaid greeting is swallowed again.  
  
Without a second glance, he gets off the bed and goes to the bathroom.  
  
It has been two years.  
  
  
  
[ I need to talk to you again  
  
Why did you go away ]  
  
  
  
He goes to the kitchen and finds a lean figure waiting there, back facing him, chestnut braid waving jauntily along with its owner's movements.  
  
His jaws clench and unclench as various emotions flash across his blue eyes.  
  
The figure turns around, and the elfin face lights up with a bright smile. Violet eyes sparkle as the curving lips part. And again, the ghost vanishes, leaving unsaid words echoing only in his mind.  
  
His eyelids slam closed again, and he stands there for a long moment, shaken, before finally he moves to pour himself some coffee.  
  
  
  
[ All our time together  
  
just feels like yesterday ]  
  
  
  
When he gets inside the car, another ghost is already waiting for him. He refuses to look at the empty seat, refuses to see yet another reminder of what had been.  
  
A pair of violet eyes flash in his mind, the brightness in them replaced by hurt. Quickly he turns to the other seat, but the ghost is already gone.  
  
Jaws clenched, unsaid apology swallowed again, he starts the car and drives away.  
  
  
  
[ I never thought I'd see a single day without you ]  
  
  
  
Traffic jam.  
  
He waits for the cars in front of him to move, his face indifferent, until he hears the vroom of a truck rolling past the lane on his left. It's big and red with the large image of a plane etched on its side, and it triggers a memory. And his surrounding fades out as his mind starts to replay that day.  
  
  
  
[ The things we take for granted  
  
we can sometimes lose ]  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Two lovers are walking together, passing display window after display window of the uptown's shopping area. One of them is chattering away happily, the other is content with merely listening. The one chattering suddenly sees an ice cream cart, and his violet eyes brighten as he tugs the other's sleeve and points at the cart.  
  
His blue eyes follow the pointing finger, and he lets out a resigned sigh, though a second later his thin lips quirk up in a small smile that answers his lover's grin. He gives in and gives their orders to the ice cream man as his lover waits by his side, violet eyes watching the street and the crowd.  
  
Suddenly those violet eyes widen.  
  
He whirls around at the sound of his lover's steps pounding loudly away from him. His blue eyes continue to follow the running figure, but his body freezes in horror.  
  
A child's body is pushed out of the way, and another body, a young man's, takes its place in front of the speeding red truck.  
  
A scream of warning's issued too late.  
  
A broken body flies and lands hard on the asphalt.  
  
Surprised cries and shocked screams echo along the street, a split second before a keening cry of agony and denial rings out.  
  
Precious tears fall for the first time, but they can't bring the dead back to life...  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
[ And if I promise not to feel this pain ]  
  
  
  
Impatient horns and angry shouts fill the air, signalling that the traffic is already moving again.  
  
Still consumed with the too fresh pain, he lets his limbs function on autopilot, and the car rolls on as he continues walking down the memory lane.  
  
  
  
[ Will I see you again?  
  
Will I see you again? ]  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Walking down a lonely street.  
  
There are so many people rushing by, but no one that matters.  
  
* FLASH *  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Crossing a park.  
  
A light lavender ball bounces toward him. Stunned, he picks it up.  
  
A girl runs up to him and asks for the ball. Without words he gives it to her, and her small face brightens with a wide, happy smile.  
  
He tries to smile back but finds himself unable to. The beaming face recalls too many bittersweet memories.  
  
He nods slightly to the girl before he turns and walks away.  
  
* FLASH*  
  
  
  
[ Coz time will pass me by  
  
Maybe I'll never learn to smile  
  
But I know I'll make it through if you wait for me ]  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Returning to work.  
  
He ignores the stares directed at him, stares that project pity and sympathy. Wanting neither but not caring either way, he walks to his desk and starts working on the files stacked there. His face reflects nothing. His eyes are dead, his body moves more mechanically than a machine...  
  
The whispering starts. He knows they're gossiping about him. Others' pain is always such a juicy topic.  
  
He tunes everything down, leaving himself in the unlit room that is his mind, so cold and empty, so dark and alone.  
  
Three friends stop by and try to talk some sense into him, but he doesn't even acknowledge their presence. They finally give up and leave him alone after throwing a last glance at him, one that projects pity, sadness, and sympathy. His face remains the same; if he saw the glance, he doesn't show it.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
[ And all the tears I cry  
  
No matter how I try  
  
They'll never bring you home to me  
  
Won't you wait for me in heaven ]  
  
  
  
Returning to reality, he stops at a flower shop to acquire some white roses, his lover's favorite flower, then continues on his way. Another forty minutes drive, and he arrives there.  
  
It's a peaceful place, away from the overcrowded and polluted city. Out here, the view is natural and beautiful. The hills and valleys are not men- made, and the air smells fresh with real trees -- pine trees -- and green grass, not artificial plants.  
  
There, on the hilltop, facing the silvery river and the valley of yellow flowers beneath, is a simple, white gravestone, and engraved on it is a name and two years. Duo Maxwell, AC 180 - AC 198.  
  
He places the flowers carefully on the grass blanketing the grave and kneels down. His blue eyes stare unseeing, and the memories finally break through the floodgates and rush out freely.  
  
  
  
[ Do you remember how it was  
  
when we never seemed to care ]  
  
  
  
* FLASH *  
  
It's a game of cat and mouse where each tries to watch the other without getting caught, but try is all they can do. And when the violet eyes find the intense blue orbs staring right back, they look away immediately. Pale cheeks turn red with embarrassment as the stoic face surrounding the blue eyes cracks with a tiny quirking of lips, amused.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
A mission went wrong, but the wounded comrades manage to return to the safe house. The two boys fuss over each other's wounds, neither caring about his own. Stubborn violet meets hard blue in a glaring contest, but then violet starts to sparkle, stubbornness finally gives in to amusement, and the wide lips give in to chuckle. Hard blue softens, thin lips give in and form an answering smile, and partners become friends.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
In a room with two beds and a small table, a dark haired boy sits facing a laptop, typing. Another boy comes in and tries to get his friend's attention. But after a moment of trying and still receiving no response, he finally just gives up with a huff and starts to walk away, violet eyes tainted with annoyance. Blue orbs look up then, their owner calling out. The annoyed boy spins around and starts to voice out his irritation but is silenced immediately when a pair of gentle lips meet his own. Annoyance gives in to shock, and shock gives in to pleasure. Eyelids close over the violet orbs, and friends become lovers.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
The war has ended. It's time for peace and freedom.  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Two lovers start living together in peace, now no longer soldiers. Two lovers fight and argue from time to time. Two lovers laugh themselves silly about things they wouldn't have less than a year ago. Two lovers learn to let go, two lovers start to relish little things like walking in the park or eating ice cream.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
[ The days went by so quickly  
  
coz' I thought you'd always be there ]  
  
  
  
He still recalls the memories so vividly.  
  
The wide, expressive violet eyes set in an elfin face that was always nearby...  
  
The familiar voice that sometimes rushed out in annoying yells, sometimes drifted in soft whispers, sometimes rippled in husky laughters, never seemed to stop flowing...  
  
The familiar warmth and the scent of apple and rain that always surrounded him...  
  
It all came to a crashing end.  
  
  
  
[ And it's hard to let you go  
  
though I know that I must try ]  
  
  
  
*FLASH*  
  
A truck's brake screeches against the asphalt.  
  
A pair of blue eyes watch in horror.  
  
A pair of wide violet stare at the incoming truck, immobile.  
  
A warning's screamed out too late.  
  
A hard impact echoes all over the block, and a broken body flies in the air to land with a loud thud, no longer moving.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
  
  
[ I feel like I've been cheated  
  
coz we never said goodbye ]  
  
  
  
Cleched fists start to tremble slightly against denim clad thighs, sharp nails forming tiny crimson half-moons across calloused palms.  
  
  
  
[ And if I promise not to feel this pain  
  
Will I see you again?  
  
Will I see you again? ]  
  
  
  
The wide lips that never seemed to stop moving except in sleep are now immobile, their cheerful owner silenced forever. And the beloved voice now echoes only in memories.  
  
  
  
[ Coz time will pass me by  
  
Maybe I'll never learn to smile  
  
But I know I'll make it through  
  
if you wait for me (won't you wait for me) ]  
  
  
  
Thin lips press on tight against each other until they form a quivering line. Blue eyes that lost their intensity two years ago become glassy with tears that haven't fallen since that day.  
  
  
  
[ And all the tears I cry  
  
No matter how I try  
  
They'll never bring you home to me  
  
Won't you wait for me in heaven ]  
  
  
  
A fist unclenches and slips inside his jacket before sliding out again, now holding a gun. The other hand lightly touches the white, cold gravestone as if in a final goodbye, and his eyelids, heavy with sorrow, shut closed. The hand with the gun rises slowly until the cool metal presses against the side of his temple.  
  
  
  
[ Coz I miss you so  
  
and I need to know  
  
Will you wait for me ]  
  
  
  
The index finger curls and starts to squeeze the trigger. The hand is shaking, but the finger presses on... Almost... Just one more milimeter...  
  
Violet eyes, bright with flowing tears, suddenly flash in his mind, the beloved voice screaming out his name, begging...  
  
The grip loosens, and the gun falls to the ground.  
  
  
  
[ And time will pass me by  
  
Maybe I'll never learn to smile  
  
But I know I'll make it through  
  
If you wait for me (say you wait for me) ]  
  
  
  
A cry of anguish tumbles out as he curls up in a tight ball, arms wrapped around himself, face hidden between his knees. His body shudders with tears that at last are free to flow out.  
  
  
  
[ And all the tears I cry  
  
No matter how I try  
  
They'll never bring you home to me  
  
Won't you wait for me ]  
  
  
  
Violet eyes, filled with sorrow, rest on the young man curling in front of the grave.  
  
The breeze sidesteps around the white stone before circling the young man, surrounding him with faint scents of apple and rain.  
  
A sihouette with angelic wings and a long chestnut mane solidifies and reaches out, transluscent arms closing around his shaking form and holding him tight.  
  
And he can almost feel feathery wings wrap around him and surround him with the familiar presence that has promised him together forever.  
  
  
  
[ And time will pass me by  
  
Maybe I'll never learn to smile  
  
But I know I'll make it through  
  
If you wait for me ]  
  
  
  
~OWARI~ 


End file.
